Being alone can be scary for some people but it’s necessary to recharge your brain, body, and spirit. Alone time means different things for different people but I wanted to share with you guys 5 different ways you can spend time getting to know yourself.
Often we get lost in work, people, and in the chatter around us. I struggle with learning to be okay by myself because I genuinely love spending time with people but there comes to a point where everyone and everything is too much. Learning to be alone and being okay with it is a huge part of figuring out yourself. If you can’t be alone and be okay with it then you have to look at why being alone makes you feel so anxious or worried.
You have to learn how to be okay being alone because you learn how to develop an authentic relationship with yourself. There’s a difference between being “lonely” and “being alone”. Loneliness can happen anywhere. You can be in a crowded room or with your significant other and still feel lonely. Being alone means that it’s just you with all your thoughts, passions, and actions.
I’ve adopted these practices into my day-to-day to help me become more comfortable being alone. Sometimes I feel intense anxiety when I’m alone because being in a space with all of your thoughts and feelings can be intimidating. I’ve now found peace in being alone because I learned how to in ways that work for me. Take a second. Take a deep breath. And accept that you are alone and you are okay.
Some of this sounds crazy but bear with me.
Go on dates with yourself.
Yep, I said it. A date. It doesn’t have to be anything extra it can be as simple as sitting at a restaurant by yourself or going to a movie. . I’ve done this and it’s really nervewracking at first because you think about what other people might be thinking, “Did she get stood up?” “Why is she sitting by herself?”, or it might be uncomfortable not to have anyone to talk to, or the fact that you feel so lame. Trust me, I get it but no one really cares that you’re there by yourself. If dinner is too intimidating, pick a place with not a lot of people or just go to a coffee shop by yourself, put your phone on do not disturb and sit with yourself.
What does it feel like sitting alone? Are you anxious? Are you content?
Full disclosure: I haven’t gone to a movie theater by myself but I have got dressed and took myself to a nice restaurant. It was lovely. Awkward at first but once I got over what everyone else was thinking I enjoyed my meal and had a great time.
Write a letter to your future self
Write a letter to your future self. Mention that you’re proud of yourself and give yourself some of the affirmations you give to other people. Write the things you want for yourself, where you want to be, etc. It can be the future you in 3 months or 3 years. This is a quick way you can spend time with yourself that will also keep you on track to what is important to you. No one else will read this so be honest, vulnerable, and transparent. If you’re unable to be vulnerable with yourself, you can’t be vulnerable with others. It all starts with you.
Do something of substance
What I mean by “substance” is do something that adds value to your life or someone else’s. Cook something, learn something new, read a book you’ve been wanting to read. You want to continue to add value into your life when you’re alone that is outside of what you do on the day-to-day. I love to cook when I’m alone. I get to experiment with flavors and food so often I’ll make a new recipe. If you don’t know how to cook, this is a great opportunity for you to learn how to. Tap into something you’ve always been curious about. It’s really easy for us to turn on Netflix or binge watch a show but use that time to do something creative or impactful in your life.
Learn to be okay with being bored
I think we all get so used to always having something to do but sometimes its okay if there isn’t anything that needs to be done. Be okay with this stillness. It’s an opportunity to recharge your brain and relax. Be still in the lull of the current moment. Take some deep breaths, say some positive affirmations, and recognize what your mind is trying to say. Acknowledge the thought and let it go. If you have to be doing something tap into Headspace and use it as a guide to meditate.
Listen to a podcast
Listen to something you’ve always wanted to learn. This kind of ties back to the whole “do something of substance” thing I was talking about. I’ll make a list of my favorite podcasts to share with you guys on my Instagram stories so please stay tuned for that! Comment or DM me on Instagram @techytk for your favorite podcasts.
Honestly, the key to spending time with yourself is being okay with the fact that it’s just you. Learning to be okay with it means that when you are alone, you are at peace with it. Let me know how you guys like to spend time alone and have learned to be okay with it.